I'm sitting at my desk pondering over four books. Each book relates to the other in some way but all are very different. How do I make sense of it all? The most enlightening thing that I've come to realize is that I don't actually have to make complete sense of it all...yet. The books that make you think the most are the ones that question what it is you are thinking about in the first place! I know that at this stage of my study I am only very tentatively knocking at the door of my concept. The 'thinking' part of it, is the realization that it doesn't have an end point! The philosophy of it all is to 'think' and continually question. This is an overwhelming thought to a novice like myself, but the thought is in fact the nature of all study and as I have read many times today, of 'being'.
I found a useful noun...phenomenology......it's definition, an approach that concentrates on the study of consciousness and the objects of direct experience. I like the sound of this. So, each book generates the experience of discovery. A good book will encourage you to look further, sometimes in a direction that you had no intention of going. Of course I am questioning my concept now. How can I discuss my ideas in a logical way when I don't know what is real? My art practice will reflect these questions and I intend to inject my experiences into the heart of my work. My feminist enquiry will enable me step forward as a free thinking woman, questioning (nervously at the start). And the books will support my endeavors once I have opened the door to the other side.
A la porte de la maison qui viendra frapper?
Une porte ouverte on entre
Une porte fermee un antre
Le monde bat de l'autre cote de ma porte.
Pierre Albert Birot
Les Amusements Naturals, p.217
At the door of the house who will come knocking?
An open door, we enter
A closed door, a den
The world pulse beats beyond my door.